Saturday, March 27, 2004

Haiz. Sigh. She didn't make it. My friend's mum didn't make it. On 18 April 2003, she left the world, survived by her husband and her two beloved sons. I just could not believe it. In the wee hours of the 18th, here i was at the hospital with my friend taking care of her. But a few hours later, she was gone. I was stunned and shocked.
i don't believe it. In the morning i was looking at her making her last struggle. The next thing i knew i was at her wake looking at her through the barrier of the coffin. Everything just happen so fast, so sudden. It make me realise that life is so frail. Hence we should cherish and appreciate every moment of our life. We should make fully use of it. After all, life is short and frail. Whenever you want to do something new, just do it! You never know when you can do it again.

Talking about something new, i am very happy that i have give in my best at attempting something new. Going to a Junior College is a total new experience for me. Not only can i make new friends, but i can also enjoy myself at the orienatation. Orientation is simply one word. Fun. If you carry that "Be Enthusiastic" attitude, no matter how lousy the orientation program is, you will still have fun. If you carry that shy shy attitude, no mater how interesting the orientation program is, you will still find it bored. So the golden rule in enjoying your orientation is to put down your pride, be enthusiastic and tell yourself to try out everything at the program and never be afraid to do things which you think will lose face. If you can do that, i am sure you will enjoy your orientation very very much. So much that you wish to do it again.

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Been a long while since i updated the blog, partly due to the fact i am busy and worried and feeling low about my friend's mother condition.

My friend had told me about his mother's condition a long time ago. But it was nothing serious at that time and all i do was chant for her speedy recovery and talk to him more. Recently, suddenly, the condition just got serious and she only has less than one month to live. I was stunned when i heard this. I mean it was not long ago that she is still okay, but now she is putting on perhaps the last fight of her life. The night when i received the news, I find it hard to sleep. I was worried, but I don't know what I can do. The next few days I was feeling down. So I chanted to the Gohonzon for her and hope that she can win this fight. Now we can only wait, chant, wait, chant...

On a brighter note, I realised the "real" state of happiness. It is when you are truly enjoying yourself doing some things even though it may be stupid and there are many stares on you. A state where you are really happy and ignorant of other people's views on your actions. I realised this yesterday when I was with my bunch of friends. We were walking to the MRT station after a meeting. All of us were doing some dances as we walked and it was full of laughter as we laughed at ourselves. At a traffic junction, two of my friends went on to cross the road, leaving us behind. When they realised they have lost us, they waited at the opposite end. As they waited, they began to dance again, in front of everybody at the junction! We laughed like mad when we saw it and simply can't stand it. Of course, we do feel some embarrassment for them. But what strike me was that they enjoyed what they were doing, totally ignorant of the public stares they received. This make me realise that we are simply too concerned about how people view us that we sometimes live for the sake of looking good to others, even if it means we have to suffer below our appearances. Thus I admire people who dare to stand out and portray their true self. Will I ever be like them? I don't know...

Monday, March 01, 2004

Hmmm... a while since i updated. Haha

Recently. I went and check out my senior blog. Wow! It is wonderful and totally different from my boring blog. I don't know how to describle it but it definitely is better than my blog. Just imagine, it even has pictures of him and his girlfriend. Haiz.

Enough about this. Last friday(27 Feb, i will never forget this day) was D-day for me. It was the release of the "O" Level results! Aargh! But, surprisingly, i was not nervous over it. I didn't lose sleep nor my appetite over it. In fact, for the past week, i slept so well that no one notice anything amiss. Haha. I told myself that everything has been fixed and it is no use bothering over it. The Cambridge markers has marked and graded my papers. The results has been moderated and i can't do anything to alter it. So why bother over it? Just accept it and see where can i go from there.

I only feel a bit nervous as the the time approached. Two hours before i received my results and i am starting to feel anxious. Oh come on, i am a human after all and it is natural for me to feel anxious right? I am particularly concerned about my Additional Mathematics grade. I remember i screwed up the paper and lose roughly 60%-70% of the marks according to my caculations. What make me feel more worse was that my friend keep on reminding me on the marks i lost. Aargh! I just hope i can get a C6...

Surprise, surprise! When i got my results, i was shocked. I didn't get a C6 for my Additional Mathematics but rather a B4! I was so happy that i was at a loss for words. Furthermore, i was ranked 2nd in the whole cohort. By the way, my school cohort for 4E was only 27 for 2003 "O" Level. Haha. But the results really shocked me. I expected lousier results. This is definitely a great benefit that Gohonzon has given me and i am very grateful for that. For that, i decided to serve Gohonzon even more diligently.

To those who have not done so well, take it easy. Look out for the courses available to you and pick one which you feel will serve you well in your career. I believe you can excel later on in life and don't let the "O" results affect you. After all, what employers look at is firstly your character and secondly your Diploma or Degree and hardly at your "O" results. All the best to everyone!